


Strategy

by mystifieddandelion, orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Cheesy Flirting (on Bill's part), Con man Bill, Detective Dipper, Like there's lots of smut, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sexual Content, Tags to be added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:39:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7160408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystifieddandelion/pseuds/mystifieddandelion, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While tasked with the capture of a particularly dangerous con man, Detective Dipper Pines makes a few mistakes - which results in the night not going as he had originally planned it to.</p>
<p>And, after that, everything steadily proceeds to go wrong in the best of ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strategy

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by _The Catch_
> 
> EDIT: The sequel to this fic has been booted for the time being, as has the idea of this becoming a full fic.

Straightening his shoulders, Dipper Pines let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. Out of a nervous habit, his nimble fingers fiddled with the tie of his expensive tuxedo, tying it over again for the tenth time in the time span of three minutes.

Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have been this afraid. If this had been a normal case, he would've been ready to go by now. But this was not a normal case, so he was terrified out of his wits- and, by God, he wasn't ready to go out there. Not yet. With how badly he was sweating and shaking, he would blow his cover in an instant.

For him, dealing with serial killers was easy- catch them without getting brutally murdered. Simple. All it took was a good plan and a quick wit…and, before he knew it, that maniac was behind bars.

Con artists were completely different from serial killers.

To start, it took much more than just a good plan and a quick wit to catch them. They were smart and clever and could see through almost anything. They could discover one's biggest weaknesses with but a single glance, using only that person's body language and their reactions to what was around them as a support system.

Secondly, they were slick. Getting out of a clinch was easy as long as they knew their enemy- as long as they could _play_ their enemy. To con artists, life was similar to that of a game of chess. Strategy was key. One wrong move with this case on Pines's part would result in-

A voice chimed in through his earpiece, “Bro Bro, are you still in the bathroom?”

“...Yeah.” Pines admitted, lifting his head and glancing at his reflection in the mirror. Licking his index finger and thumb on one hand, he used them to flatten a few stray hairs. “I-I'm not feeling too sure about this, Mabes.”

“Get your head in the game, Dip. Remember your role, go out there, get Cipher alone- _BOOM!_ Cuff him and off to jail he goes. Easy as pie."

Simply put, you could have a stupid serial killer, and they were easy to catch. But you could _never_ have a stupid con artist.

The art gallery party Pines was currently attending was only for people of high authority, such as millionaires, billionaires, and nobles, including those from other countries. How the con man William Cipher fit onto that list, Pines didn't know, nor did he care. He had been sent here for a single purpose, and that was to prevent Cipher from tricking any more innocent people out of their money.

What differentiated Cipher from other con artists were his knacks for being especially intelligent, wicked, and (least importantly) philosophical. He'd gotten away from his fair share of detectives and private investigators in the past, which was what made Pines nervous the most. How could Stanford Pines, formerly one of the best private investigators in the world, possibly task a newbie like _him_ with catching someone as crafty as Cipher? There was no logic behind any of it.

However, yes, the plan to catch the con man was easy to understand: Pines was to pretend to be a stockholder named Roderick Stentz who was interested in making a certain business deal with Cipher. All Pines- or, rather, Mr. Stentz- had to do was find a way to drag Cipher away from the party and arrest him.

One of the many foreseeable problems with that was the unfortunate fact that Cipher never flocked alone. He was almost always followed by one or two (on a rare occasion, more) people who claimed to be his “partners.” How the heck Pines was going to get them to go away was beyond him, but Stanford had seemed pretty confident when he handed him the assignment. 

So, basically, he was going to be a disappointment to the family if he somehow messed this up and failed.

But, hey, no pressure.

“You'd better go out there, Bro. Preferably sooner than later. Cipher isn't gonna wait for you to show up forever. He'll grow tired eventually and leave the premesis.”

“I _know_ that!” Pines snapped. “Just...God. I'm going, okay? Now shut up, I don't need you being loud and blowing my cover.”

“If you don't wind up blowing it on your own…”

Wow, that was reassuring. “Really, thanks, Mabel.” Pines grumbled, then headed out of the bathroom (thankfully, no one had been in there to hear and/or see him talking to himself like some kind of psycho).

The party was in a large room sepetate from the art gallery itself so that anyone could walk out and look around, most likely as a way to advertise the masterpieces. Only a few people were out and about when Pines passed by and, both luckily and unluckily for him, none of them matched Cipher's file photo.

He had to catch a breath when he actually entered the party room.

Okay, yes, he had been told the party was big, but the party was _big._ He hated being in places that had a lot of people, meaning here was his worst enemy. Of course, though, it was more civilized here than what someone would see at an average American party- wearing clothes that couldn't bear to be stained without costing the buyer a ton of money, people having calm and meaningful conversations while drinking wine and the like and laughing whenever something midly entertaining was said, soothing classical music playing from the speakers high above everyone's heads…

This was the opposite of college and Pines was perfectly alright with that.

“Dip? You there?” Mabel asked, causing him to turn suddenly.

Then he remembered she wasn't in the room with him. He placed a hand over his ear to mask her voice better and dropped his voice down to a whisper. “I'm here. I got into the party a few seconds ago.” His eyes traveled the room as she spoke, taking in the face of everyone he could see, none of them being the guy he was looking for. “No sign of Cipher, though.”

“Search around, ya knucklehead! He's still at your location. I'll be listening in case something goes wrong.” After that, she went silent 

Lowering his hand, Pines pushed himself into the crowd, muttering things such as “Sorry.” and “Excuse me.” whenever he were to bump into someone- which was a lot, because he was too busy staring at faces to pay any mind to where he was walking.

Upon making it to a table covered in a red cloth that contained juice and alcohol in many different forms, he groaned silently in exhaustion. It was going to take hours to find the con man, at least, with how many people were here. And he didn't even have _one_ hour to spare.”

“You look tired. Care for a drink?”

Pines swirled around in the direction of whoever had spoken, which resulted in him landing face-to-face with a very attractive young woman.

She had piercing ice blue eyes and pink hair that was tied neatly into a bun, and wore a pitch black dress that fell just past her knees, come complete with black shoes that made her at least two inches taller than her actual height. She was holding two fancy glasses of red wine, offering one of them out to the detective, arm extended.

Pines took it though he wasn't too partial to drinking. “Thank you."

The woman smiled and clinked their glasses together in a short toast, saying, “To this amazing party,” which Pines reluctantly repeated. They both took small sips simultaneously.

“My name's Veronica, by the way.” The woman added. “Although, I prefer to be called Pyronica.” 

“Why's that?”

“I love setting things on fire.” Pyronica took another sip of her drink, as if that were a perfectly normal topic to bring up at a civilized party.

Pines laughed uncertainly. “Well, uh, I'm Roderick Stentz." He introduced, barely remembering to use his fake name.

Pyronica's eyes widened. “You're Bill's client!”

“Yes, that's me.” Pines replied awkwardly.

“Oh-Oh! I'm so sorry! I work with him.” The pink-haired woman seemed like she was debating between being mortified or ecstatic. “I'm the only one of his business partners with him today, but I was looking around for you. Bill was getting quite antsy upon you not showing up.” She gestured for Pines to follow her. “Come on, let me take you to him.”

The pair headed across the room to a corner, where a man stood alone, absentmindedly sipping a margarita. He lifted his head to gaze at them as they approached.

Pines barely managed to stifle a gulp. This was surely the con man he had been searching for: He had blond hair, darker near the roots, and a slightly freckled face. His amber eyes seemed to be more of a golden color. Not to mention his full pink lips... He was wearing a tuxedo, much like Pines was, but his was somehow more expensive looking, and he wore a black bow tie instead of a long red tie like Pines.

The con man toyed with his margarita in one hand, waving it around so much that the liquid kept coming close to spilling over the edges of the glass. As he did, his golden gaze raked up and down Pines's form in a way that the detective could've interpreted as appreciative.

Soon he took another sip and looked over at Pyronica, his lids lowering in disinterest. “Is this him?” He asked.

“Yes, sir.” Pyronica said. “This is Roderick Stentz, your client."

"Oh? Well, it's about damn time.” Cipher grumbled, rolling his eyes. Then he directed his attention back to Pines and smirked, holding out his free hand. “A pleasure to finally meet you in the flesh, Mr. Stentz. I'm William Cipher, as you probably know, but you may refer to me as Bill if it simplifies things.” And, when the detective took his hand, “I wish we could've met up at a better location, however. This is the lamest party I've ever seen.”

Pyronica chimed in, “It's more of a get together, sir.”

The con man clicked his tongue. “Either way it sucks, so I don't give a shit.” He removed his hand from Pines's. “Why, when I was in _college…_ ” He wolf whistled. “ _Those_ were parties. Wasn't hard to get laid back then.”

Pines wasn't sure how he felt about Cipher glancing at him as he said that last part.

“How old are you, Mr. Stentz?” The con man asked him. “You look like a teenager.”

“Twenty five, Mr. Cipher.”

“Quit the formalities. ‘Mr.’ sounds like someone who would enjoy-” Cipher wrinkled his nose in distaste. “-a get together like this. Forget what I said earlier. I want you to call me Bill.”

Pines found himself caught off guard by the sheer amount of energy radiating off the other man, but he nodded. “Yes, Bill.”

“That's better...Roderick. How's about I call you Rick instead.” It wasn't a request. Cipher took a third sip of his margarita, finishing the glass. “Now, as to why you're here…”

Pines stiffened. “Uh, yeah. You must be talking about the deal.”

Waving a hand dismissively, the con man responded with, “Oh, yes, you mean the serious, business-y stuff. Let's not dwindle on _that_ right away. After all, we _are_ at a party. The point is to sit back and relax, is it not?”

“A-Absolutely.”

“Besides, I've wanted to walk around the art gallery for a while now. Take a little looksie, see if there's anything that...catches my interest.” Cipher flashed a wide grin at the detective- _much_ too wide a grin. His eyes flashed, if not for but an instant, holding something that the other man couldn't quite grasp completely.

But, whatever had been in his eyes then, it was making Pines become uncomfortable.

The few words he could force out were hesitant. “You...You mean the paintings, right?”

“To what else do you think I would be referring?” Cipher returned. He fixed his gaze on Pyronica, who had been standing not far away, handing her his empty glass. “Go and fetch me another margarita, would you, love? Thank you.”

“No problem, sir.” Pyronica amended, despite looking annoyed at having to now hold that with her red wine. She looked at Pines and eyed the wine that he had still been holding, asking, “Do you want me to take that, too?” Pines nodded and handed to her, and somehow she managed to balance that in her hands as well before turning and walking off into the crowd, elegantly remaining a firm hold on all three glasses.

Cipher clasped his hands together loudly the second she had disappeared from view, emitting an aura of being overly pleased with himself. “Always glad to have her out of the way. So, while she's gone, how's about you and I take a walk around the gallery?”

It took Pines a few blinks to realize _he_ was the one being given the request.

“Wouldn't leaving Pyronica here be a rude thing to do?” He questioned, tilting his head ever so slightly to the left. “I mean, she seems really loyal to you.”

“Precisely.” Cipher chuckled. “That means she won't ditch me when she notices that I ditched her. Come along, Rick, there are paintings waiting to be observed, and possibly bought at the auction. Depends on how much I like ‘em.”

Pines started having that bad feeling again, but he obliged, his brain screaming  _Run away!_ on repeat, so loudly that he barely heard Mabel when her voice came in through his earpiece.

“This is your chance, Bro. Not a lot of people are going to be out there until the art auction starts in thirty minutes. Make the arrest in that time frame, preferably.”

Pines whisper-screamed, “Shut up. I'm trying my best here.”

“Did you say something, Rick?" Cipher asked.

“N-No. Not a word.”

Mabel went silent, leaving the young detective on his own once again. Trying to keep his nervous energy to a minimum, he placed his hands in his pockets, his fingers grazing lightly over the handcuffs that continued to be hidden from view.

First, he was going to make sure no one else was in the area. Next, he was going to make the arrest. Last, he was going to relax and wait for his next case to arrive.

He sucked in a breath of fresh air as soon as he and Cipher had left the party room. Thank God, the pungent smell of two hundred thousand different varieties of perfume and cologne wasn't as bad out here.

The con man- the very man Pines was expected to arrest in under thirty minutes- noticed his discomfort, and his expression showed he was amused by it. “The rich, pampered life not that of your style, Rick?” He didn't wait for a response. Folding his hands behind his back he walked on, to which Pines followed. “Meh. Neither am I. You see, I much rather enjoy the simple things. Whether or not one was to have everything wouldn't affect their happiness, overall, in the slightest. Can you tell me, how would _you_ feel if you had everything in the world? How would you feel with all of that power, right in the palm of your hands?”

Pines frowned in thought. “Pretty...powerful, I suppose.” He mused, not being able to find better vocabulary.

At this point, both men had stopped walking and were standing in front of one of the gallery's many artworks. No one else was in sight, which was good, but Pines's handcuffs seemed to weigh a ton more than they had a few seconds ago.

Cipher's eyes examined the painting a moment. Then he turned back to the detective, a small smile lingering on his features.

“Having everything wouldn't matter, you see-” He started, reaching out and gently cupping one of the other man's cheeks. The touch was incredibly warm and sent electricity zapping throughout the detective's body. “-because of the simple truth-” The con man was moving closer… “-that nothing lasts forever.”

At last, he whispered, “But just because someone doesn't last, doesn't mean it isn't love.”

_What are you going on about?_ was what Pines would've asked- that is, if it weren't for the lips that were suddenly capturing his own.

Wide-eyed, his hands began to shake uncontrollably at his sides, and the tips of his fingers tingled in a way he'd never experienced.

He didn't do anything until the con man pulled away, and even they all he _could_ do was squeak, “What was that for?”

Cipher smirked, rubbing comfortably under Pines's jaw with his thumb while his index and middle fingers seemed to aiming at a spot directly above the detective’s earlobe.

Too late, Pines realized what he was aiming for.

“You know what I find funny, _Rick_?” Cipher snarled, ripping out Pines's earpiece and pinching it between his index and thumb. “When people think-” He dropped it onto the ground. “-they can play me for an idiot-” He brought his shoe down onto it, crushing it into microscopic pieces. “-and get away without consequence.”

The next thing Pines knew, the back of his head was hitting a wall and arms were on either side of him, keeping him in place. He let out a breath, which was quickly snatched up by lips on his. And this kiss wasn't as sweet and kind as the last.

Pines gasped, unintentionally allowing a tongue to slide in past his lips. Groaning, he latched onto the con man's shoulders and the pink muscle made it's way around every crevice of his mouth, all before meeting his own tongue and nudging it, entwining them.

In seconds it was gone, and Pines opened his eyes- when had he closed them? Blushing madly, he let his hands fall from Cipher's shoulders.

Finally the reality of the situation collapsed onto him. _Oh, God. Oh, no-_ His cover had been blown and he no longer had any contact with Mabel. For all his sister knew, he could be kidnapped or dead or worse… Although, dead was really as bad as it could get.

Laughing darkly, the con man grazed his teeth over the shell of Pines's ear, and  _damn_ if it didn't send pleasurable sparks down to the brunet's lower regions-

“Let's continue this somewhere else, shall we?”

“A-A-Alright.”

The detective was tugged through the gallery roughly by his wrist and, within a short span of time, was practically being _thrown_ into a storage closet. He stumbled forward, nearly landing onto the shelves that held cleaning supplies, but caught his composure quickly. However, the door was being closed and locked as he began to turn around, and when he did managed to face the other direction, a body was being slammed unmercifully into his.

The con man wrapped his strong arms around Pines's waist and forced him into a third kiss, knocking their teeth together painfully. With a grunt, he pulled away just enough to readjust the position of his head before leaning back in again. Pines moaned into the other man's mouth when hands slid down to cup his butt.

Cipher broke the kiss after what felt like hours, speaking between breathless pants. “You _actually_ had me going for a moment there, detective, and for that I'm handing you some credit. I'm not the kinda guy who gets fooled easily. But, now that you're busted…” He squeezed Pines's butt, earning another low moan, “What's your _real_ name?”

There wasn't a point in lying, Pines knew, so he forced out, “D-Dipper Pines.”

“Dipper? That's a stupid name.”

_Rude._ “Dipper's only my nickna-”

“Wait a minute.” Cipher's golden eyes widened, showing that something had popped into his mind. He pushed himself away from the detective, which was when Pines took the opportunity to reach into his pocket to take out the cuffs, to find that they weren't there.

The con man was holding them in one hand and spinning them in his grasp with ease. _When_ had he even taken them? “Pines...Pines...I _swear_ I've heard that name be-” Suddenly, he stopped short, narrowing his eyes into thin slits. He began to circle Pines with a new type of angry aura about him, so unlike how enthusiastic and cocky he had been at the party. “You're related to Stanford, aren't you?”

Pines didn't get a chance to confirm this, or try to lie and deny it, as he was spun around and slammed back against the closet door with a surprising amount of force. He wrists were grabbed in one hand and pinned above his head, the cold metal of the cuffs feeling toxic against his skin (but thank God, Cipher wasn't using them), while another hand pushed on his chest. Hot breath brushed against his face when Cipher spoke.

“You have a lot of bombshells, huh, detective?” He hissed, shoving one of his legs between Pines's. “That's nice. However, I'll have you know that _I_ can drop a bomb or two as well, Pines.” Smirking, he thrust his knees upwards and rubbed it onto the brunet's groin, against his growing erection. “Ol' Sixer was a bit of a handful when he wasn't retired, you know. Admittedly, he'd almost gotten me a few times. _Almost._ I was so relieved when he finally realized he was too fucking old and retired… That is, until today, when _you_ decided to come along. But, don't worry, I wouldn't _dream_ of hurting a hair on your precious little head.”

Pines bit down on his bottom lip, throwing his head backwards, letting it slam fully into the door. He tried and failed to hold in needy whines. “T-T-Th-aaaa….aaaaat i-isn't ve-ery re-re-aaaaa…” _Good God._ Why did he have to be so pathetic right now? He was supposed to be playing Cipher, but Cipher was the one playing _him._

Soft lips pressed onto his nose and moved to pepper more kisses to both his cheeks. His eyes screwed shut when they traveled to his neck. Then teeth dug into the hyper sensitive skin and, oh goodness, he was a mess.

Cipher proceeded to suck down on the spot hard enough to leave a visible purple bruise. He lifted the hand that had been on Pines's chest to poke the mark- roughly, causing the detective to groan in pain- and whispered, “It doesn't look half bad on you, kid. Especially with those expressions you keep making. Simply delicious. I could eat you up.”

“Kid? Y-You're not much older than me-eeeee….” He moaned when the knee returned to rubbing his clothed erection and those teeth caught onto a spot just under his jaw. Yet another bruise was left there. “I-I'm g-g-oo-i-ing t-to k-k-iiii-i-ll -y-yoouu…”

“What lovely words to hear from a detective.” The con man deadpanned, his eyes half-lidded as he examined the other man through his thick lashes. Even so, his blown pupils were visible. He leaned down to press more kisses to the detective's neck.

Pines could barely manage a thought. What would Mabel be doing? Had she already called for help to be sent his way? He really hoped so, because he wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to handle-

There was movement, and then he was on the ground, the con man above him in an almost straddle-like position, kneeling down on his hands and knees to keep the brunet in place, all while somehow not pressing himself against the other man. That stupid smirk of his was staining his face.

If Pines was a fruit, he'd be a tomato. His hands finding Cipher's chest, he feebly attempted to push the con man away, to which he didn't succeed. He internally cursed the awful tightness in his pants, and, not for the first time, hoped that Cipher would just lose interest in whatever he was trying to do and go away.

He didn't care about arresting the con man anymore. He just wanted to _not_ be in this position anymore. He would rather be anywhere but here.

“You know, Detective Pines…” The said con man mused, lowering himself so that his face was a mere inch or two away from the other's. “You are _so_ much more attractive than that bat Stanford. In what way are you related to him?”

“H-He's my great uncle.” Pines replied, his hands clutching onto the fabric of Cipher's tuxedo at the compliment. And, this time, when their lips were pressed together, his chocolaty eyes slipped shut. He returned the contact to the best of his ability, arms moving to wrap themselves around the con man's neck. Then, when they parted, “You're infuriating.”

His blush probably wasn't any help in backing up that statement, because the con man only laughed and rolled their hips together, once, enticing a low moan from the detective, and said, “But I'm infuriating in a sexy sense, yes?”

“N-No.” Pines muttered, trying to turn his face away and avert that intelligent golden gaze, but a hand caught his chin, keeping him in place.

“No?” The con man parroted. “That's a shocker. Usually people can't resist my good looks and charismatic charm. Guess I'm gonna have to find a way to change your mind, then…” His lashes fluttered flirtatiously.

“Wow, modest too. I'm sure _all_ the ladies must be drooling over you.” Pines sardonically replied, mentally slapping himself. He hadn't meant for his words to come out like _that._

“They are.” Cipher replied and, without a second glance, returned to his previous actions, pressing kisses and leaving non-latent marks on Pines's neck.

“H-H-ooo-ow a-am I s-s-supp-oo-sed t-to h-h-ide t-th-eeee-se?”

“Honestly, you're not _supposed_ to.” Cipher murmured into the other man's neck. “The whole point of ‘em is so people can see that you're taken.”

“I-I'm n-n...aaaa...not t-taken.”

“You are now.”

“Y-Y-Yooouu c-can't j-us-uh-st-”

Cipher placed a hand on the detective's mouth in order to stop him from speaking. He ran his tongue teasingly over the shell of the brunet's ear, speaking in a dangerous tone, “From this moment on, the only sounds I want to hear are the sweet noises you keep trying to hold in. If you so much as dare to speak up out of term again, I will not hesitate to use the cuffs. Do you understand?”

Pines's eyes widened, but he nodded.

“I'm glad we could reach an agreement.” Cipher removed his hand from the detective's mouth, instead beginning to undo the buttons of the man's coat. His unnaturally sharp teeth were visible through his cocky smirk. “I'm going to make you feel _very_ good, detective, I promise.”

Pines was about to reply to that, then remembered that Cipher still had the cuffs and halted, pressing his lips into a thin line. _Yeah, it would be safer to take the threat seriously…_ Arching his back off the ground, he reluctantly allowed the con man to slide his coat off and toss it aside, which left him in his tuxedo shirt.

He gagged when Cipher tugged him up by his tie and into a kiss.

“I hate tuxedos.” Pines breathed out as soon as Cipher pulled away, wiping at the string of saliva that still connected them.

“Why's that?” Cipher asked, loosening the tie with his slender fingers. As soon as it was removed from the detective's neck he threw it aside with the coat. “I think it makes you look handsome. Almost as handsome as me, I dare say.” Grinning, he nipped at the man's ear, lowering his voice to whisper seductively. “As handsome as you look in it, though, I think it would look _much_ better off you.”

Pines shuddered, screwing his eyes shut as a new wave of heat was sent directly to his groin. “I…”

“You can't tell me that you don't want this, Pines. Not even a little?” The con man purred, nuzzling his nose against the other man's. Upon not earning a response, he muttered, “Seeing as you're not responding, I'm going to assume that you want this.”

That said, he began to rub the detective's chest through the thin, light fabric of his shirt, slowing his motions only to thumb lightly at the nipples. Pines hitched a breath at the touch though his shirt wasn't even off (at least, unbeknownst to him, not yet).

“Oh, so you're not going to speak to me, is that it?”

“That's because you threatened to put handcuffs on me!” Pines shot back angrily. He bit the inside the cheek as soon as it had come out, holding in a series of profanities at not realizing his mistake until too late.

Moving his hands under the detective's shirt to gain better access to the pale skin, Cipher admitted, “To be fair, if you _hadn't_ said anything, I was planning on going ahead and putting the cuffs on you anyway. I was just starting to get really sick of you running your mouth. Not when there are so many better uses for it.” To prove his point, he pecked Pines's lips- but he meant more than he was letting on and both men knew it.

“You know what? Fine. Take as long as you need here.” Pines forced through gritted teeth. “Because when backup comes to help me and sees I've been raped, it'll be another add on to your list of charges.”

The con man scoffed and rolled his eyes. “ _Please._ It's not rape unless it's non consensual, and not once have you cried out in protest, ‘No, no! Stop, stop! You're hurting me!’ or anything in that variation, either.” He began to pinch and play with Pines's pink nubs. “If I didn't know any better, which I _do,_ I'd say that you're  _enjoying_ my company.” Running a hand down and out from under the shirt, he patted the tent between the detective's legs affectionately.

Then he sighed. “You prove a good argument in the other sense, however. Soon enough the people you work with will arrive here to have me arrested, and I'm not too fond of the idea of going to prison. Do you have a _clue_ as to what happens to guys like me in there? Exactly. Now, with that tucked away in the crevices of your mind we should try to hurry up and finish up our encounter, hm? I have places to be, people to see, and money to earn. I need to put food on the table _somehow,_ after all.”

“You mean _stea_ \- aaaaaa.” Pines jerked his hips as the other man palmed his erection, biting down on his bottom lip and painfully rubbing it under his upper teeth.

Cipher shook his head in pure delight at the sight of the detective, beginning to unbutton Pines's shirt. “ _Steal_ is such a strong word to describe what I do. I don't  _steal_ any money from anyone. They _give_ me their money, preferably piled neatly in suitcases, I thank them for their donation to my cause, and I hightail it out of there and support myself. How could something like that be described as  _stealing?_ ”

“Okay, let me try _cheating._ You _cheat_ people out of their money.” Pines grumbled, unconsciously lifting his arms and raising himself up enough so his shirt could be removed. He didn't quite process that he was half naked until a pair of lips caught one of his nipples in a swift action, sucking it with (practiced?) finesse. Gasping sharply, he dug his nails into blond hair.

Detective Dipper Pines was no virgin but, being in the presence of Cipher, he felt like he should be. He'd had a single partner before, someone he used to date, someone he had fallen in love with… Someone who had died in a tragic car accident. Ever since then, Pines would never have imagined himself in a sexual situation again.

Until tonight.

He choked back a sob, making it past his vacant thoughts and into reality in the instant that Cipher took his other nipple, kneading it between those impossibly sharp teeth.

To his disgust, he started gyrating his hips against the con man's in reaction, little moans vibrating in his throat.

Everything about this was wrong. The person that was seducing him was none other than Cipher- as in, _William Cipher,_ the terrible con man that he was supposed to be _arresting._ But instead he was… Ford was going to kill him, and then bring him back to life and kill him again.

Finally Cipher pulled away and lifted his head to look down at the very flustered detectivd, who let his hands from fall those soft blond locks.

“You look so beautiful like this, Pines.” The con man said, a small smile lingering over his lips. He dug his sharp nails into Pines's shoulders, causing the detective to flinch, and ran them down his arms, leaving temporary pink scratch marks in their wake. “Writhing underneath me, your body against mine…” He grasped the detective's sides, deeply digging his nails into the skin there as well. “And the shade of red that adorns your face is simply wonderful.” He easily pulled Pines in closer. “The best part of it all, I must admit, is that it's because of _me_ you're like this.”

Pines didn't think it was possible to become harder than he already was but, apparently, it _was._ The con man's sweet nothings were having a large affect on him, more than he would be comfortable admitting to. Not that he minded being uncomfortable anymore. Enough had happened already to push him past his boundaries.

Within the next few seconds, the con man had removed his own coat and shirt, throwing them aside and letting himself fall fully onto the other male, rubbing their bare chest together rather roughly. He moved one of his hands into the detective's brunet curls, grabbing a fistful of it and twisting it between his fingers. The touch, along with the kisses being peppered along his neck and jaw, were enough to make Pines reach down and grab Cipher's arousal, which elicited a quiet moan.

Pines caught a breath when there were gently nibbles on his ear, moving his hands to run along the con man's back, gradually going lower and lower until he had a butt in his grasp, which he squeezed as a sort of revenge.

Fortunately, Cipher was smart, so he understood immediately. He groaned somewhat playfully, and, though Pines couldn't see his expression, he assumed that he was smirking. “Oh- _Oh._ Okay, Pines, I see how it is. So it's gonna be like that, is it?”

Gathering up as much courage as he possibly could, the detective threw his head back, allowing Cipher to have more room to kiss and bite his neck, and said, “Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be like that.” The tips of his fingers slid themselves into the con man's pants and under his shorts, brushing over the bare skin of his butt. He managed a smile and dared to pinch the cheeks, causing the partner above him to squirm a little. “It is _definitely_ going to be like that.”

“I find it rather enjoyable, you trying to be courageous.” Cipher told him, kissing the juncture between his neck and shoulder. “It's fucking adorable, and it's turning me on. So, please, dearest detective-” He shifted and pressed his clothed groin against Pines's, rubbing against the other man as he did, resulting in the both of them moaning out in ecstasy. “ _Please_ continue to be courageous. Continue to be courageous, Pines, because you are...nn...so fucking s-sexy when you're courageous.”

“Y-You're s-s-u-uh-ch a-a t-te-aaaase.” Pines replied, grasping Cipher's cheeks in his hands and pulling him into a hungry, needy kiss. It didn't take long at all for tounge to become involved, both their pink muscles battling for dominance- and, to Pines's surprise, _he_ had been the one to win (most likely because Cipher had allowed it to be so). He breached his tongue past the con man’s lips and ran his tongue along the latter first, then moved it around to explore the rest of the wet cavern, leaving no spot untouched, all the while feeling strong hands stroke his face.

They separated only to breathe, parting just enough so warm air could slip between them.

Cipher started, after catching his breath, “It honestly sucks that you're supposed to arrest me. I would _love_ to get to know you better.”

“Not like you would let me arrest you either way.”

“Hm. That's fair. But, you know…” The con man pushed himself up by his arms and reached over for something. Pines realized what it was just a moment later, when the con man was sudddenly behind him, pulling him up off the ground into a sitting position, and his wrists were grabbed and pinned behind his back. He gulped audibly as cold metal was then pressed against his throbbing veins, below his palms, followed by a low click and the con man moving to his front. “...you cuff people all time, yes? Let's see how much _you_ enjoy it.”

“That's b-because those people com-committed crimes...Ahhhh…” The detective felt a light tug on one of his feet, Cipher trying to take his shoe off. It took some seconds, but it was removed and thrown away, and the same was done with his other, along with his socks. He couldn't help but laugh when Cipher began to tickle his feet. “Oh...Oh my... _Stop._ ”

The con man obeyed, but only so he could pile himself over top the other male again. At a teasingly slow pace, he undid the belt to Pines's pants and tugged the article of clothing down his legs, leaving him with but his underwear. “Oh, sure, the people you arrest being criminals and such. But have you ever thought about their ambitions for said ‘terrible actions,’ hm? What if that serial killer was trying to get revenge on those who morally wronged him? What if that art thief was trying to get money so he could be able to support his little girl? There is no action without a cause, Detective Pines.”

“But they don't have to resort to wrongdoings in order to get what they want.” Pines pointed out. “They can ask for help, or-”

“Ah, yes. Figures you would use _that_ line. Riddle me this, kid: What if _they_ don't think what they're doing is wrong? If it's for the greater good of their lives…”

“Well, they _should_ know it's wrong.”

The con man had completely removed Pines's pants by now and was balling them up. A grin splayed over one corner of his mouth. “And if they don't?” He asked slyly, tossing the clothing as if it were a basketball. “Be careful with how you word things. You said that they _should,_ not that they _would._ ”

Pines blushed at the fact that he was nearly naked, but otherwise kept his composure. “Do you always get this philosophical when you have sex?”

“My rights state I don't have to answer that question.” Cipher chided. “Now, stop be annoying or I'm tightening the cuffs. I'm going to undress myself.” He took off his shoes and socks, then started to pull down his pants at an even slower pace than he had done with Pines's, obviously in an attempt to fluster the detective further. He wiggled his hips all while keeping close eye contact, winking in the moment he sat back on his butt to kick them off the rest of the way. Of course, being the overconfident asshole he was, he noticed the detective's lust-blown pupils and said, “Wowie, kid. You want me _bad,_ don't you?”

The detective's automatic answer would have been a _no,_ but seeing as that was a blatant lie and he didn't want to wind up jinxing anything, he decided to risk all his dignity, spreading his legs and panting out, “Oh, God, please.”

Cipher seemed to grow a dreamy expression. “You look so beautiful when you beg, Pines. I'd be rather happy if you continued to do that for me.” And, without another word, he once again to palm the detective's absolutely annoying erection.

Having only on his underwear, Pines was swift to feel just how fiery the touch was- about one thousand times more than it had been when he was wearing pants. Moaning moderately loud, he tried to arch his back up into that hand as best he could without straining his muscles, wanting to take it all in. He bit down on his bottom lip and closed his eyes, already irritated with the damned handcuffs. He wished he could magically rip them apart like how people did in cartoons.

“Oh, no, no, no.” Pines felt fingers on his face, forcing his mouth open, and he opened his mouth to look at Cipher. “I need you to be more vocal, dearest detective. Who cares if anyone out there hears? Little do you know, it's a real turn off when you're quiet. I'd prefer it if you scream out my name, and that's exactly what you're going to do.”

Pines's head felt cloudy and light, as if he was in an area with a thinner atmosphere or had recently finished spinning around in circles for hours. He sighed, not wanting any of this to halt. “Okay, okay, whatever you want. I'll be louder. Just t-touch me, please. I want you to _touch_ me.” As a way to prove how much he meant his words, he thrust up into the con man's hand (which had ceased it's palming) some more. He squirmed when no reaction came. “ _Biiiiilll._ ”

The con man moved his hand away from Pines's groin, his facial features contorting into something that could only be described as _predatory._ He licked his lips and tugged on the waistband of the detective's boxers.

“That was very hot.” He said, releasing the band and letting smack against Pines's skin with a loud snap, causing the brunet male to moan quietly. “I like that a lot. Do that again and I promise to give you _exactly_ what you want. But let's try to make it fast, huh? Who knows how much longer I have until your guys come here to arrest me.”

Pines sighed in sweet relief when his boxers were finally removed, exposing his penis, which was angry and red. Desperately in need of those fiery touches, he wiggled in order to move closer to the con man. He so badly wanted to use his hands, and his face remained terribly warm despite his best efforts.

A hand wrapped around his length without warning and pumped it a few times. He gasped at the overwhelming sensation, biting down harshly on his bottom lip for the umpteenth time. Before long he could taste blood on his tongue and he gagged, coughing a bit, but cut short when lips pressed onto his and a foreign tongue lapped up the coppery red liquid.

“Y-You r-re-eeally l-like t-t-eee-asing m-me, h-h-aaaah…” He panted as yet another pump was made, this one harsher than the last few.

“Absolutely.” Cipher replied, running his thumb over the tip of the other man's cock, gathering some precum in the process. Bringing it up to his mouth, he licked it whilst keeping his golden orbs locked on the detective. “You're so positively delicious, I can't help myself. And I already told you how much I adore your expressions.”

“I-If I'm so d-delicious, then just fucking eat me already!” The detective suddenly growled out, not all thinking about it beforehand. He shook his head, bewildered at his own words. “N-No. _No._ I didn't mean it like that, I-”

Again he was kissed, nails digging into his scalp, rubbing it conformably. He responded to the contact out of instinct, leaning forward as far what was possible to better breathe in the shockingly amazing scent of the con man, which he hadn't noticed fully until now- unlike the types of cologne he had smelled while at the party, this man's was amazingly pleasant. Pines couldn't place was kind it was, maybe something like arctic ice or-

His thoughts flooded away as the con man began to remove his own boxers, still not breaking the kiss. He only did a few second later, placing his hands on Pines's shoulders, pushing him away an inch or less. He raked his eyes up and down the detective's form, in exactly the same way he had done at the party.

_Wait._ Pines realized something.

“You...were hitting on me.” He whispered. He scrunched up his nose. “Oh my God, you were hitting on me _so hard_ at the party. And I didn't…”

“Honestly, you're pretty stupid for someone who's supposed to be a detective.” Cipher grumbled, leaning over to press a few short kisses to Pines's neck. “Sure, I flirt with a whole lot of people, I'm not gonna lie, but I was _really_ trying my best to flirt with you. I knew from the second I laid eyes upon you that I wanted you to be mine, Roderick Stentz or not. The way you are in this situation is better than I had imagined and, for that, I thank you. Haven't had a round as good as this is so far in a while, I'll tell you that.”

Pines drifted his gaze carefully over their current surroundings. “This isn't the best setting to have sex, though.” He commented.

“Yeah, no. This isn't exactly a king-sized mattress that I could fuck you into, but it'll have to do this time around.”

“ _This time?_ ”

Cipher laughed lightly. “I told you I'm not getting arrested. Not by anyone, not even you. I wouldn't want you to cuff me unless it was for a purpose such as this.” And, to prevent Pines from offering a reply, he shoved three of his fingers past the detective's lips.

Automatically understanding what their purpose was, Pines shut his eyes and sucked on them in a somewhat needy manner. This, in turn, earned him an equally needy moan from the con man, who pulled out his appendages after about thirty seconds or so.

“Are you ready?”

Pines didn't open his eyes, but nodded. Then his legs were being lifted up and apart and one of the slick fingers were being pushed into his anal opening. He growled out in pain through gritted teeth as it pushed inward, pulled out, pushed in again… It took him some minutes to adjust to it, and when he did he nodded a second time and said, “Okay. I'm…I'm good.” Another finger was slid in, and the action was repeated, along with scissoring motions.

It was when the third finger was in and a few pushes and pulls had been made that a certain spot had been hit, sending a wave of pleasure throughout his entire body. He cried out Cipher's name as the contact came, his toes curling up and his legs tightening around the con man's waist.

“You doing okay?” Cipher asked, pulling out his fingers at last.

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just not used to this type of thing.” Pines rubbed his itching wrists against the metal of his cuffs and let out a shaky exhale. “I haven't necessarily had sex with another guy before today and it's… I'd rather not talk about it.” He mumbled weakly.

Cipher smiled. “Don't you worry ‘bout a thing, detective. I promise that I'll treat you nice.” He shoved his drying fingers in Pines's mouth again to gather more saliva, then lathered it onto his own throbbing, aching penis to act as a replacement for lubricate. He groaned lightly at the needed touches, but gained enough willpower to stop and place his hands on the detective's shoulders, lining himself up at the brunet's entrance. “If you're inexperienced this might hurt a bit at first…” He pushed gut the tip in, gently easing in the rest of the way. The two males moaned equally as it proceeded. “...but it will definitely, nnn…” A few inches in. “...get better.”

Pines dug his nails into his palms, surging forward as far as possible to both help Cipher push in further and press his forehead against the con man's. If it weren't for the stupid handcuffs he would have reached out by now, burying his hands into those perfect blond locks, kneading them between his fingers as he was fucked in the ass.

“Yo-oou're s-s-oo t-ti-tight.” Cipher grumbled, applying twice the pressure to Pines's shoulders. He huffed, pulling out and pushing back in at such a terribly slow pace, it was obvious he wasn't lying.

“A-An-And y-you're s-so-soo bi...ahhh.” Pines huffed as well, forcing a tired laugh. He also would've said something along the lines of _I'd really like it if you took these handcuffs off me, oh my gosh._ but refrained for two reasons. The first reason being he could barely form a complete sentence without becoming utterly drained afterwards. The second reason being that, even if he was able to speak properly, Cipher wouldn't listen to him, anyway. In fact, it would probably make him tighten the cuffs (as if they weren't already tight enough as it was). As a result of these considerations, all he managed to studded out as an add on was, “S-S-ooomme l-l-uh-ube w-would b-be r-re-ee-ally n-n-iiii-ce r-r-i-gh-t n-n-oow…”

Cipher spoke out a reply in between breathless moans as he continued to push in and out, which Pines interpreted as _Oh, well, doesn't that suck for us, then?_

A few more thrusts and once again Pines was hit in that special place a visible shudder reverberating throughout his entire body. He screamed, digging his nails further into his palms. Warm, thick liquid pooled onto his fingers immediately, additional pain from that area shooting up his arms.

“W-What's...wrong?” Cipher panted, noticing his cringe.

“S-Stu-Stu-p-ii-d c-u-uhh…” Pines screamed yet another time as there was another thrust and his prostate was hit head on. Stars began to dance crazily around his eyes. “...Cuffs.”

Cipher grunted to acknowledge that he understood, sliding his hands down Pines's sides and shifting him slightly into a better and more comfortable position. He then continued what he was doing and eventually developed a sort of rhythm, pushing in and pulling out in a way that Pines could become accustomed to. With each thrust the detective moaned Cipher's first name and curled and uncurled his toes repeatedly, so much he was certain they would ache after the encounter was over and done with.

It didn't take long at all for the thrusts to become erratic and merciless, Pines keening and throwing his head back and shouting so loudly that anyone outside within a ten foot range would be able to hear him. Cipher was only a little less vocal than him, his moans coming out more so throaty and deep.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God, ohgodohgodohgod._ Pines's hands felt almost completely drenched in blood from digging in so hard at this point, but that was the least of his worries. “I-I-I…s-s-soo-ooo c-c-clooo-ooosee. B- _Biiilll_. Bill, pl-ple-pl-pleease. Clo-oooo…” He pleas were met with a response swiftly, one of Cipher's hands wrapping around his member, somehow managing to pump it in time with the inhumane abuse to his bundle of nerves, sending the stars into an even worse frenzy, all up until the moment when he-

All he needed to hear were the words “Come for me, detective.” before he hit his much anticipated climax. Hot, white liquid left his member in creamy spurts, covering his abdomen, and but a few drops of it coming into contact with the con man, who hit his own high immediately after. His seed spilled into Pines, causing the detective to shiver despite the sperm making him feel searingly warm.

As soon as the moment had passed they both went silent, the only sounds made being their heavy pants as they tried to recollect themselves. Due to their foreheads still being pressed flushed together, they shared the same oxygen with each and every inhale and exhale, as if they were a single entity. And, with how close they were (and, yes, considering the fact that they'd just finished having sex) Pines wordlessly admitted that maybe they were. In a physical sort of sense, at least.

Then the con man was pulling his now soft penis out of the detective's ass resulting in some of the come that had been inside to spill out and form a white, sticky puddle on the floor. Pines quietly watched Cipher reach for the pile of clothing and tug on his underwear and pants, concealing the lower half of his body.

“I'm...I'm covered in fucking cum, and you're not even helping. You're just getting dressed.” The detective complained, gaining his attention.

“We're in a storage closet full of cleaning supplies, kid. We both know you're smart enough to figure out what to do with it.” Cipher said while he got dressed the rest of the way, fixing his bow tie last for that special dazzling effect. Then he moved over to Pines and used the key to the cuffs to release the detective's wrists.

Humming, he pressed a kiss to Pines's ear from behind and whispered, “Once again, I thank you for this outstanding pleasure. And I wish you a good night. Assuming it'd be pretty awkward for you to arrest me stark naked and covered in cum, I think it would be best to make my leave immediately.”

Pines wanted so badly to get up and protest to that, to arrest Cipher like he had been sent here to do in the first place, to put the horrible man in jail and appease Ford and the rest of his family, to improve his detective status from amateur to much less mediocre- but he also didn't want to move. Every muscle in his body ached and he felt exhausted, like he had just finished running a marathon in winter attire. So he groaned in frustration and said, “This isn't over. I'm _going_ to arrest you, and you _going_ to go to jail. I'll hunt you down and personally tackle you to the ground and cuff you. Heck, I'd volunteer to throw you into your damn cell myself.”

“There you go with being courageous. You might want to stop. If I hadn't just busted my load, I would be rock hard over again.” The con man stood and cracked his back. Aside from his clothes being somewhat wrinkled, he looked exactly as he had before any of this happened.

He slicked his hair back into a position that wasn't much different than what it had been in a second ago and shot Pines one last flirtatious wink. “I'm sure our paths are going to cross again, Detective Dipper Pines.” He assured, as if that made everything better, and made his leave. The door to the storage closet closed with a gentle bang.

Pines listened to the light tap of the con man's retreating footsteps for a moment and, once they had faded into nothing, brought his bloody hands into his line of vision. Fortunately, most of the blood was dried up by now, so all that he needed to do was wipe it away. He guesstimated that he had a few minutes left until his expected backup would arrive to find the con man had “escaped,” and he didn't want to naked and covered in white liquid when the time came.

Gathering himself off the ground, he went for the cleaning supplies and got to work on wiping up the mess that Cipher had decided to leave behind. By the time he had finished and walked out of the storage closet, fully clothed, he had a pretty good excuse in his mind for the backup.

He brushed his fingers gently over the handcuffs in his pocket.

_Game on, Cipher._


End file.
